I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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