Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
