i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize