covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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