I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
