Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
