We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
