Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
