I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
