She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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