that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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