Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
