um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
