Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
