dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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