apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
