Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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