You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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