If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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