we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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