i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
