Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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