After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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