Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
