i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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