well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
