So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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