I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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