I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
