Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
