The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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