Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
