After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude i'm inner monologue high
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
