Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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