I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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