i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
