Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
