TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
