there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
