After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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