D3 body, D1 cock
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
