So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
