Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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