I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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