shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His hands were made for my vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
