i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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