either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
God I need to hump something, right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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