She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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