Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
