So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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