no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
