k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A bitchslap is in order.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
