Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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