i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
