Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
